There are many loathsome, sweaty and piss stained pits of filth in London (no city is perfect after all) but what if you’re a fan of these glorified sacks of shit? What if you, like many of the British public enjoy the experience of bouncing up and down on the spot with your arms held aloft and your leg being slowly used as a dildo? What if you like a bizarre number of the population genuinely like clubbing? Well fine sir good news! There happens to be a chain of clubs that promise the true clubbing experience!

McClusky’s Night Club is a clubbing chain with branches all over England (my own personal local branch being in Kingston Upon Thames) and is possibly the only club in the history of the world that lives up to the whole getting laid stereotype (not counting ‘Miss Candi’s Dungeon’) as opposed to most other club chains that plaster pictures of scantily clad women all over the website but ultimately fail to have anyone slutty enough to follow through.

One of the main problems with clubbing has always been that for four quid a half bottle of beer it isn’t exactly the cheapest night out in history. If you choose to go to McClusky’s on a Wednesday however, you’ll find that everything is around two quid, allowing you to spend as little money as possible getting the mini skirted hotty drunk enough to overlook the fact that you resemble a thin plastic bag full of dumbbells.

So I suppose what I’m saying is that if you enjoy this bollocks and want to get your leg over a paralytically drunk British teenager then look for a branch of McClusky’s near you…what an advert I’ve just given them.

Will price is a student, writer, critic and snarky cynical bastard based in London. He (by which I mean me) is around the web on sites such as Weekend Notes and Gamersaurs where he is a video games journalist. He (by which I still mean me) is often as approachable as one can expect from a hate filled misanthrope, so if you wish to ask him (by which you must by now realise I definitely mean me) any questions or just settle down with him (its fucking me alright!?) for a nice chat, feel free to contact him.